I don't know what to feel.

From Thursday to now i have been feeling so sad, confused, and lonely at the same time. When i think in why i feel this way, i just can't get the answer. I feel lonely when I’m with people and when I’m alone all i can hear is the sound of my thoughts. I wake up feeling the same way as when i went to sleep. I try to smile, to find a way of feeling better but i can't, i feel weak, i feel that i can't do anything. I know that this probably is dramatic but are just my feelings. So, i wake up the following day thinking that day could be better, but all just stay the same. I don't want to go out with my friends, i don't want to talk with my family, I’m always angry, i don't want to do anything. All that i want to do is stay in my bedroom listening music. The most sad in this is that i can't find a reason for this, is just that i feel empty is like i just have the half of me. It's a weird feeling. I just want to wake up feeling great with myself, but these days have been the worst. I don't know, maybe tomorrow, i would wake up and feeling better, i really hope it.

Fanatism: Do whatever you like.( Primera práctica evaluable).

Being a fan, fanatism, fangirling, all of this structures mean the same; for me a feeling, for others a no sense. I started being a fan of two singers and actresses seven years ago and i still love them like the first day. Some people say to me that this is something inmature, but they don't know anything about this amazing feeling. This feelingf for me is one of the best in life, the illusion when they release new single, when they dedicate beautiful words to their fans, when you go to see them in concert is a type of illusion that i want to transmit my children one day. The last year one of my dreams came true, i went too see one of them in concert, was the best experience of my life. Not only for seeing her in concert also because i could met amazing people who were very similar to me. The true in this is that doesn't matter what people say, if make you happy just do it. They say, it's time to mature, but i disagree it's time to make all our dreams come true. I love being a fan and i hope this feeling could last forever.

My little angel.

When i think about love his picture comes to my mind. All i can hear is the sound of his laughter; all i can see is the color of his eyes, and all I can feel is a sad feeling of yearning. 586, 4 km is what separate me from him; I’m going to talk about a sad but beautiful story of how love can transfer the distance.

Almost two years ago my little angel was born, he was called Marc. I never had known that i could love someone so little like I do until the day he was born and illuminated my life just with a smile.The sad in this story is that they live in Barcelona, they have their life there and i have mine here. I see them very occasionally and hurt me knowing that I’m not seeing him growing up. This is something that caused me pain for a long time until i realized that was something that i could change.My little has now almost two years and he is the most beautiful kid that I have ever seen in all my entire life. I love him even more than me because is a pure soul that haven't any bad intention, i love him because even having a bad day entering in Facebook and seeing a photo of him makes my day better, like today i was really sick with fever when he comes into my room and wake me up for surprise, i have to say that today is one of the best days in a long time. For the happiness that he brings to my life when i finished my career I’m going to live in Barcelona for a long time, it's one of my biggest goals. Finally i have to say that even sometimes gets hard, love runs out. I wouldn't change anything of my life since he is in, because seeing him happy always will be a reason to keep fighting in life.

Happiness is in the smallest things.

I'm the clear example of happiness with the smaller things. I'm going to talk about things that make me happy. Get up every morning and be grateful for a new sunrise and see my cat sleepy in the end of my bed so peaceful. See the smile of my little nephew and the bright in his eyes.Also make me so happy the first song of the day which make that you start with all of the energy of the world. The sound of the birds and how the sunbeams poke out my window. Know that I’m alive and that i can feel a lot of emotions. Also make me happy listen to Ed Sheeran every night until i fall asleep. The day of my birthday is my favorite day of the year, i love it. I adore the sound of the rain and the smell that lets after. The inspiring songs that get into your soul are one of the most beautiful things in life. and surprises always make me feel exited, even if they're not for me. Dream, I’m always dreaming and i imagine me travelling all around the world reaching all of my dreams.  The beautiful moment when you look someone into the eyes and you reflect in them. When my mums makes my favorite food and I see my favorite TV show on Tuesday. The sensation of get reunited with old friends and make new ones. Sing make my life, i couldn't live without sing is my passion in life, is what always make me feel better. The sound of the waves and the smell of the sea make me feel free and I think that there's nothing better than see people i love happy, is so inspiring. I know that I’m strong and that I’m getting better every day of my life. In life beautiful things are just the most simple and these things are just a few of all, because for me life wouldn't be anything without the little moments that keeps in our hearts.

Time

Time run so fast although we don't realize of it, i can look backward and see how the last year has pass flying. For this i have get to the conclusion that i need to experiment all of the emotions that life give me even if is pain or sadness because when the time pass i could say that i have lived instead say that passed my days waiting for the time to run. After all this time i have understood  that there's some things that i cannot change and i must be patience to let it be and while change those i can, because now is all we have.

Incredible.

It's incredible how the time just let see the reality, tearing the true between so many lies. Even more incredible is how words, memories and people are erased of your life in the blink of an eye. It's difficult to understand that the reasons of yesterday are the uncertainty of today and the sorrow of tomorrow. Days, hours, minutes and seconds pass as the feelings do that are hidden in layers of aversion, resentment and even hate. Incredible, as incredible as that who someday was someone important turned in what you don't know, in what you don't ever get to know.

"All of the stars".

If all of the nights i could see the stars as i see them today i think all would be easier. Today the sky is clear, i can feel the sea breeze under my skin and tears roll down my face, uncertain tears, uncertain as the feeling that my heart keeps. A confuse heart that don't know what is feeling, is in a deep  whirlwind and cannot get the way of scape of it.  This night i feel all of the weight of the world on my shoulders, i feel overwhelmed with it, i feel how it tear me down until being a tiny point that paint the lines of the universe. Finally take a breath and look up the sky thinking in which one of these stars will be my destiny.